The Inspired Groom Boom: Tips for Planning when your Husband-to-Be has an Opinion
The wedding planning process used to be all about the Bride. She made all of the decisions about style, design, and details… usually with the help of her Mom and Maid of Honor. The Groom was happy to go along with the Bride’s vision, usually making a few cameos in the planning process only during the menu and cake tastings. I was lucky if I could persuade the Groom into picking out his tux!
Fast forward to 2014: weddings are still Bride focused, of course. But I’ve noticed a growing trend of Grooms with opinions to share and a desire to play an active role in the planning process.
This trend is a positive thing! Your wedding is the beginning of your marriage and therefore the beginning of many compromises to come, so why not start compromising with the wedding decisions?
Having said that, it’s common for Brides to feel frustrated at times when they’re working to plan the wedding they’ve dreamed of since childhood and they find that their Groom has opinions and ideas to work into the plan.
Here are a few tips for Brides to compromise with their future husbands and enjoy a wedding that represents them as a couple:
Avoid senseless arguments by sharing which elements of the wedding are the biggest deal to you, and asking your Groom to do the same. If he’s got his heart set on choosing the bridal party entrance song and the wedding cake flavors and you don’t have a strong opinion on either, then go with his ideas. Ask for the same consideration from him when it comes to your “must have” list.
2. Keep Some Things Sacred:
Set some reasonable boundaries for decisions that should be totally up to the Bride, or totally up to the Groom. For example: it’s reasonable that choosing your wedding dress is completely your decision. By the same logic, the decoration and flavor of the Groom’s cake and the Mother Son Dance song should be the Groom’s decision.
3. Work Together on the Rest:
It’s easy to get caught up in the “Bride Rules” hype and try to exercise veto power against your Groom and tell him your decisions are not negotiable. Realistically though, being a dictator doesn’t work in marriage or wedding planning so you have to remember to be partners. Working through the stalemate moments can be tough, but compromising on a reception color palette is great training for the future when you’ll compromise on the color to paint your living room!
Stay solution oriented. For example, if your Groom wants bright blue in the mix and you cringe at the thought, offer the idea of an accent navy or cornflower blue that works better with the rest of your vision. He gets his blue; you get the look you want. Ta-da! Apply this logic to the rest of the compromising and you’ll be just fine.
4. Remember Your Purpose:
Your wedding represents the joining of you and your Groom and the start of your marriage. Remember this when he campaigns for a certain detail he really wants. The day is a celebration of the two of you, not just a party… and it is his wedding, too!
I hope these tips are helpful for you, and Happy Planning!
Interested in more planning tips? You can schedule a complimentary consultation with me! Just send an e-mail to: Leah@EEPEvents.com.
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